Tomorrow it's happening. Bags are packed, the flight is booked, and tonight I'm sitting still for a moment.
Tomorrow I board the plane. Bags are by the door, passport is ready, and really, everything is sorted. But tonight feels different than I expected.
These past weeks were one big to-do list. Insurance, flight, appointments, getting things in order. It kept me busy, and that was a good thing. Now the list is empty, and I'm left with the feeling that I'm actually ready.
There is a quote from Hudson Taylor that has stayed with me recently. He wrote: "God uses men who are weak and feeble enough to lean on Him." Taylor was the founder of OMF, the organisation I'm leaving for tomorrow. He set out for China in the nineteenth century, without many certainties, with a trust that was sober and deep.
Those words resonate, because honestly: I don't feel particularly heroic. I'm going to do IT, something I know and am good at. But the step itself, letting go of what is familiar, trusting that things will be fine on the other side of the world, that's not something I can do on my own. I'm allowed to lean.
I know it's right that I'm going. That's something I've come to see more and more over the past months. But right doesn't mean easy. I'm leaving a lot behind: family, friends, the church I love so much. People who are following along and praying.
Still, I'm looking forward to it so much. Singapore, a new environment, colleagues I haven't met yet, work that matters. The adventure I've been looking forward to is about to begin.
Tonight I'll be still. Pray, give thanks, trust. And tomorrow, when it's time, simply take that step. Weak enough to lean.
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Written from Singapore